This is me, Frankie Paz.
For me life is all about love and connection.
I believe the relationship you have with yourself impacts your entire life. Im all about celebrating the messiness and magic of being human.
I make magic in the kitchen for retreats all over the globe, host ceremonial supperclubs, offer moon jams and host potion workshops. I also work with clients one on one to embrace their shadow, what do I mean by that, their subconscious/inner child which assists them connect to themselves and nature deeper.
I believe plant based food and community are a great way to connect to ourselves and this beautiful planet, sharing deeper conversations while eating nourishing foods. It has been a great tool in my own life, from feeling disconnected to connected.
Food for me is medicine. In fact it changed my entire life; I was immersed in the party scene and following in the footsteps of a family with addiction. I didn’t release that I was numbing pain with all kinds of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I left everything I knew and went to the jungle, and I didn’t come back for 5 years. At 20 I fell in love in the Amazon and moved to Colombia where my partner at the time was from. We had no money and this is when I learnt to truly trust the universe. Learning from various elders and communities I became incredibly connected to nature. I ate only fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, and cut out all caffeine. I simplified everything. Over time my body detoxified and I started to feel. It was a lot, and it was scary. I finally started to embrace my shadow.
My childhood was not the most conventional, I never really fitted in growing up, I danced between two worlds. The modern and the ancient.
I come from a lineage of strong women, with wild spirits.
My mother has the biggest of hearts and a soul that speaks of adventure. Our home was always open and welcome to anyone. A place of Community, unity, music, love and celebration. She worked many jobs while raising two children. Even with very little money she would create home cooked feasts for anyone who walked through her door. It didn’t matter what day you had, Our home was a space to express dance, eat, drink, support each other and celebrate life in all its madness.
Her mother worked in the circus as a trapeze artist. I have fond memories of her walking the
washing line.
Creativity and adventure runs through our bloodline.
My paternal grandmother, still healthy at 97 is a wisdom keeper of this island that we call Britain. Nanny B has been plant based for sixty years, a meditation teacher and homeopathic nurse in world war 2, Plants are her life and she converses with them daily. She taught me from a young age the importance of nature and our connection to it.
I see the beauty in the essence of these three women now, but for a while I ran from my heritage.
My father died when I was 12. Substance abuse contributed to his passing. I followed the same path of self destruction on London’s party scene… until I felt the beat of the jungle and natures embrace. .
Some people would say I’m a hippy, Yet that doesn’t seem fitting for me.
I’m a city girl with a gypsy heart, with the blood of a wisdom keeper.
I am wild and I like to keep it real.
I didn’t want to stay in a 9-5 job. I knew it wasn’t what I was here to do.
For me life is about freedom, and as hard as it has been to get to where I am, I have created freedom on many levels.
When I was in the jungle it was the first time I connected with my spirit as an adult.
I learnt and studied, everything I knew to be true about myself I challenged.
I learnt that to embrace your darkness (shadow) was the only way you can live a connected life. That in fact it was only me that was holding myself back with the stories I was telling myself. I later studied in London, California and India. Modern psychology, matrix reimprinting, reiki, and learnt shamanic practices.
I spent time and reconnected wth my grandmother and learned her teachings.
These days I am outside as much as possible and when I’m in nature I feel most myself. I live on a boat in Hackney, in London, and connect to the elements daily. I love the city and all the magic it offers but the river is my sanctuary.
For me it’s all about balance.
The world is fast-paced and I choose to try and keep life as slow as possible, even whilst living in one of the busiest cities in the world.
I have a BEAUTIFUL community of people around me and my chosen family. I seem to be surrounded by the most magical, almost unimaginable situations all the time these days. I could never have even dreamed this kind of life when I was a child.
So many things have shaped who I am and the life I live:
my grandmother’s wisdom, love, death, heartbreak, sex, travel, wild swimming, exploration. And just being open to new experiences. Making art, making potions, making plant based food. Drugs and exploring different states of consciousness. Also exploring sobriety, so no substances of any kind including coffee etc. Late night deep conversations with friends and strangers. Laughing so hard my belly hurts. Crying so much my face hurts (you know those deep deep cries!). Taking time off.
My life could have turned out very different.
I made a choice. I decided I was going to make it different from my fathers or what society says we should do.
Yelling, screaming, crying, howling at the moon. Being silly, playful - having fun. Being vulnerable. Sharing SO much of myself to the world which has resulted in amazing opportunities, a voice, and platform, but also opening myself up to the judgments and pre-conceptions that people have of me. Learning to embrace that. Work with it. Run with it. Saying yes more than no, but also saying no more than yes sometimes.
It all started with food for me. I have been plantbased for 15 years and It has helped and asissted me connect deeper to myself, others, nature and helped me feel emotions.
Plants opened the door to so many things. Starting up a business without any idea about business from my tiny besdit in Hackney (trust me, it all starts with a dream).
Various teachings, workshops, events. Lots of healing sessions with various gifted people; tapping, intuitive massage, reiki, sound healings, leaf and bone readings, chats with pirates, living with elders, my grandmother's teachings, Druid Teachings, voice sessions, inner child work, archetype work, dance, breath work, learning the basics in astrology. Also working on a deep level with plant medicines, shamans, ceremony and ritual.
Being wrong, really wrong. Being right, learning to trust myself. Learning to harness my magic. Learning to accept my magic, learning to share my magic. When I say magic, I mean my light. Learning to shine bright regardless of who I may offend / inspire along the way. Learning how to speak my truth. Learning how to love my dark side - unleash it, dissolve into it, welcome it, celebrate it, and walk alongside it.
Running away. Staying put. Speaking up. Embracing new ways and cultures. Reading lots. Really listening. Educating myself on health. Working with the elements and nature. Most importnatly feeling the fear and taking chances - fucking lots of them.
I get a lot of people asking me - ‘how do I live this kind of life?’ The truth is I created it.
I guess you would say I have done a lot of ‘work’ on myself. In saying that, I mean I have looked at myself and continue to. At my behaviours, my relationships. I do a lot of self-inquiry. Checking in all the time on where I’m going and what I’m doing. I could talk a lot more about my inner and outer self-journey over the years - but really, I think the best thing to say is that you need to be brave and you need to move with fear otherwise it will keep you stuck.
It’s not always easy healing yourself and really looking at yourself. It can be really scary, really uncomfortable when you know you have to change things, but it’s worth it, every little bit of it!
As I heal, you heal, we all heal…
Thanks for reading my journey.
Frankie x
Copyright © 2022 Frankie Paz - Moody Mango - All Rights Reserved.
Photography by Hannah Bodsworth
Website by Lovelace Digital